Game Report
Rangers Vs St Bartholomews
17th-24th February 2007
Balmoral SHS
Records crashed as Ranger’s star opener Paul Joseph plummeted the Bunyips attack on his way to an amazing innings of 160. Paulie went on to set the record for the highest score by a Ranger opening batsman, the most sixes in an innings- sending 10 over the boundary ropes, and the highest score by a Ranger batsmen overall, eclipsing Sam Batten’s 144.

Sent in to bat on the lavish, rugged pasture of Balmoral SHS,  Paulie looked in great touch from his very first scoring shot, cutting one over the infield to the boundary. Things just got better for him as he opted to go the aerial with a flurry of 6s while Elliot was stubbornly holding up the other end and also set a new record by taking 26 balls to get off the mark passing Shandy’s 19 against the same team last year. However once off the mark he made up for lost time and actually started to outscore Paulie.

Churches QLD Representative Michael ‘Charlie’ Warrington was bowling particularly well, getting some steepling bounce of the deck and causing the batsmen some havoc with his outswingers. At the drinks break the Rangers were content with their score off 0-55.

With nothing to do or no one to tease (anymore), Dale and Jamie found some entertainment with a few sticks and an empty drum on the sideline. Soon the rhythmic sounds of bonging and banging were resonating across the field giving the ground a somewhat Caribbean feel in preparation for the upcoming World Cup. 

Feeding on the noise pollution wafting across the pitch, Paulie tried to put the musicians out of commission as he sent ball after ball in their direction shooting past Gordo’s record 5 sixes in last years finals.

With the score on 100 Elliot fell to a smart piece of bowling and fielding, caught and bowled by Greg Mc Dougall, out for a well played 32, claiming 3 boundaries and 3 bruises from Charlie in the same vicinity of his body. The match up of the day was the QLD national representatives of Fitty and Charlie and it was a battle to appreciate with Charlie’s bounce and Fitty’s footwork coming to the fore.

However with over an hour on the sideline of hanging out with mind-numbing players, Fitty fell to a great one handed catch behind by James Blinco. The boys were flabbergasted by Fitty’s failure of 10 and the silence was palpable as he came back to the sheds. Our demi-god experienced a fall from grace to find him in the realm of cricket mortals and scum. However the mood was lifted when Daniel Viles announced that Fitty only contributed less than 10% of the team’s score which sent the boys in fits of laughter.

Paulie was still going beserk amid all this sending the ball to the boundary with effortless grace as he was doing some of his own marketing for the Gray Nic Predator as Elliot had been for his beloved Fusion and after passing through his terrible thirties syndrome he was rewarded with a great round of applause from his boys as he notched up his 3rd Ranger fifty.

After having a dream run of late and promoted to number 4, Ben ‘Duncan’ Hollis was playing a little cameo, elegantly placing the ball of his legs and showing his class by pulling out the sweep shot against the slower bowlers. Any shot that fell remotely short of the boundary was greeted by calls of ‘Would’ve been 4 if you had a fusion!’

At this stage Paulie was murderous and the shot of the day was a timeless straight 6 over the bowlers head. It wasn’t before long that there was a possibility of Paulie knocking up his first Ranger 100 (and the teams first this season). He swept past the 70s with ease, and then breezed through the 80s until we all got a taste of the nervous 90s. After Duncan was called one short after his trademark ‘run around the crease move’ off a Paulie shot, he found himself on 98. Granted a short one outside off, Paulie smashed one to the cover fieldsmen where he dropped a tough chance, but enough to have the bench hold their breath for that split second.

To prolong the anxiety; rain intervened and Paulie was left on 99 not out over the drinks break. Luckily Paulie was able to put one behind point to bring up his 100 to the thunderous applause of the sideline, with Dale’s car horn honking overtime and Jamie bonging away on his drum. It was an innings full of temperament mixed with brutal aggression and it was an awesome sight seeing Paulie saluting the bench with his bat and helmet, with a massive grin plastered across his face.

29 balls later Paulie brought up his 150 and was soon out caught and bowled to James Blinco, gone for an immortal 160 off only 173 balls and walked under a guard of honour to the congratulations of his team mates. He was a bowler’s nightmare as he played with a formidable defence, lofted anything full and carted the short ones for 6 and in the process he put on 117 with Duncan for the 3rd wicket, the 2nd time in club history there had been 2 century partnerships in the one innings. 

Duncan was still carving a pearler of an innings until he was bowled for a well played 32 after word failed to tell him that we had decided to bat the day out. However todays innings allowed him to crack the coveted 100 run barrier in the Premiership season.

After the short but entertaining innings of The Chad, Jamie soon got a taste of his own medicine of heckling and sledging from the bench. After a powerful shot through covers for 2, Jamie was presented a juicy, ripe full toss which he promptly dispatched to the boundary to only find one James Blinco who hardly had to move to take a comfortable catch, Jamie out to the howling laughter of his team mates! No old grip to blame this time.

Clintoff walked out and walked back but not after slogging one to the square leg boundary, which brought more jeering directed at Jamie.

Aaron strutted out and soon had the boys foaming with envy at his timing, placement and genuine ease at the crease while OP 1 Kenobi (Ben Robinson) was daftly putting balls through the gaps. 10 overs later they had put together a new Ranger partnership of 63 for the 8th wicket, surpassing Cam’s and Undies 39* in last year’s final.

With only a few overs left in the day Aaron was slightly off track to get his first 50 for the year, until he started playing some elegant pull shots to the boundary which left him on 49 with one ball left in the day. With shouts from the bench to get one run and OP1 cocked and ready in his starting blocks at the non-strikers end Charlie bowled a superb delivery to knock out middle stump to leave Aaron one short of a well deserved milestone and leading a late revival to have the Rangers at 8-354, their 2nd highest score in the Premiership competition.

Dr Elliot was the recipient of the Mr Cricket award for his early battle of getting off the mark. A lesser batsman would’ve thrown his wicket away in frustration but Elliot showed immaculate temperament in waiting for the right ball to put away. It was definitely an innings of courage.

No doubt the highlight of the day was Paulie’s innings, and it was fitting to see that great things happen to great people as he has put as much as anyone into this club with his leadership and work ethic. It was an innings we had all been waiting as we have known of his quality and talent for a long, long time and it was a proud moment for the team to be part of his celebrations when he got his 100.

Day 2 (Retro 70's day)

Finally! The long awaited 70’s retro day had arrived! For months the players of the St Bartholomew’s and Ranger’s Cricket Clubs had been raiding Op shops, parents closets and even their closets to find an appropriate attire to wear in tribute to the carefree age of the 70’s.

With many a moustache grown, wigs adorned, button up shirts that weren’t completely buttoned up and bling bouncing of revealed hairy, and some not so hairy chests, the players looked something fresh out of World Series Cricket.

One of the surprise dresser upper-ers was Ranger batsman Paul Joseph who was wearing a gothic like-heavy metal band black wig which gave him a rather scary look.

Onto the field the Ranger’s went and it wasn’t too long that the boys were wishing they left their wigs on the sidelines as the temperature shot up, leaving them rather flustered. Also the hair often found itself in people’s mouths which had them coughing up hairballs ever over or so as well as people asking for hairbands to remove the hair from their eyesight.

Recovering after an unsuccessful operation of 30 runs off an over, the Swing Doctor  rehabilitated himself onto the Ranger’s Honour Board by surgically removing 5 St Barts top order batsmen with clinical precision.

Adorned with long flowing blonde locks that flapped wildly in the wind and a shirt right out of Miami Vice, Joe Dirt (named after a frightening resemblance to the movie character) produced a stunning performance of swing bowling removing St Barts captain Greg McDougall, who was wearing a child’s police helmet, with the first ball of the innings with a rip-snorter Yorker. We were left wondering if he could see the ball through the cellophane visor he had down!

Elliot would go onto to slice through the line up literally as he knocked back the stumps on 4 occasions during his 7 over spell which only cost him 9 runs. However we all think that the batsmen simply lost the sight of the ball in the explosions of colour radiating from his shirt.

Mark McDougall would then reproduce a touch of history for as he walked out we noticed a silver looking bat under his arm. Vastly looking like the combat bat Lillee walked out with yonks ago we were told it was just a Grey Nic Spot (originally a power spot but just without the power) all painted up. A juicy half tracker was sent through the field leaving a great silver like cherry right in the middle and also a great silver like cherry right on the ball!

Just to show that history repeats itself, Umpire and former Lemmings player Phil Dagnell asked to inspect the ball and after a short deliberation asked Mark to change bats. Into the stratosphere the bat went after a hoick and a new one was run out to Mark to the applause of the 2 teams who appreciated the special historical touch!

St Barts recovered from being at 5-16 with an impressive 50 run partnership from the patient Uhlmann and the volatile Blinco who shredded the bowling attack with ease until Duncan got some payback , after an early flogging, to grant Paulie his first catch of the season at midwicket. Finally! James Blinco finished with an impressive 38 of only 33 balls with 6 fours and a six.

David Ulhmann would play an innings of great temperament and fortitude as he held up the St Barts innings until OP 1 Kenobi summoned the force and sent a cracker of an inswinging Yorker to knock back the pegs, out for a well played 31 off 110 balls. OP 1 went on to deny Jamie his 4th catch of the season by taking a caught and bowled 2 balls later which had Jamie precariously backing up behind just in case of a spill. .

At the other end, The Chad was pounding the ball into the pitch and causing the batsmen all sorts of problems with his swing and seam to capture 1-8 off only 8 overs in a tight unyielding spell.

Clintoff then finished off the innings claiming his 2nd wicket of the season to a great running catch from Fitty from slip to prove that training does make a difference. With that particular catch it leaves him one ahead of Chad and 2 ahead of Jamie who is eyeing his first trophy performance trophy this year. St Barts out for 102

With a somewhat reversal of the line up, Poe and Aaron when out to open the innings until Daniel Viles did an Elliot and bowled Aaron with an evil inswinging  delivery to have him out first ball. Out went Jamie and the fusion, and with their powers combined they went on to play a gem of an innings that had the guys in awe of the strokeplay and power created from the crease. After one particular impressive shot, Jamie threw the fusion on the ground and started to give it an idol like worship ritual until Elliot shouted out to pick the bat up and keep if off the ground!!

During the innings, Shandy had a chance to do some camera interviews for the upcoming awards nights. However it wasn’t before long the guys on the bench started to hoick projectiles such as balls, cans, chairs and one tonne rodeo’s at the interviewee during filming in what would produce some great bloopers.

In and out went Clintoff who no doubt has the best ‘bowled’ record on the team and then OP1 out to a ripper one handed catch by Gale to end his run of staunch innings.

Enter The Chad. In a surprising start Chad blocked the first 5 balls, and we thought we must’ve been watching Poe until a ball dissappeared to the boundary we then realised it was Chad all along. And then another 4, then another, then a six, then another till Fitty started breaking into a nervous sweat when he realised his fastest 50 record was not only going to be beaten but overhauled by a long shot. Chad was going rank on anything and everything including one he launched into the proximity of the Sheds near the nets to take him to 40 off only 16 balls! Alas he then fell to a well timed catch by Mark McDougall on the offside much to the dissapointment but joys of those who were watching the carnage and nervously watching out for their cars who were within Chad's 2km hitting circumference.

Poe was dismissed for a well played knock of 12 but Jamie was still holding his own by shocking the boys with play never seen before in the nets. He employed a thing called a block and even a rare movement called a leave. However it was an innings the boys enjoyed as they have known for a long time that Jamie does have class at the crease.... he just has to choose to use it.

Jamie then did a Fitty when he asked the main culprit Fitty himself what score he was on. A few balls later he pulled a Fitty when he was out attempting to sweep a full bowl on middle stump, out for a glorious 47 full of patience, solid defence and breathtaking shots, including some glorious cover drives, AKA Steve Waugh.

The Ranger’s finished with 6-121 and ending a great day had by all. Full credit to all the guys who got dressed up, especially the McDougall brothers who won the prize of a 10 pack of Ginger Beers.

After a massive photo for both teams it was announced that another game would be played like this next season in what would become a perpetual event after such a successful and enjoyable day. The prize trophy; Mark McDougall’s Sliver Combat bat, now embossed by the players names .
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