How To Live A Happy, Victorious, And Secure Life
   How To Live
   A Happy, Victorious, And Secure Life

John 5:39, "Search the scriptures; for ... they ... testify of me." --- Jesus
   
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"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine:"   (Prov. 17:22)
"... the joy of the LORD is your strength."   (Neh. 8:10)


John 10:10, "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."

Acts 2:28, "Thou hast made known to me the ways of life; thou shalt make me full of joy with thy countenance."

Phil. 4:4-7, "Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. 5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. 6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

2 Tim. 1:7, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Introduction:

(( Many People Are Anything But Happy, Victorious, And Secure In Their Living. ))

Paranoid:

A. Characterized By:

1. Extreme Suspicion and Delusions --- Persecution --- Jealous ...

2. Feelings of Rejection and Insecurity.

3. Are Suspicious, Distrustful, and Resentful.

4. Are Seclusive and have few close friends.

5. Are Irritable and Moody.

6. Calls attention to the undesirable motives and actions of others, thereby attempting to Camouflage Their Own Feelings of rejection and insecurity.

B. Caused By:

1. Extreme Frustrations and Emotional Conflicts which caused him to become over anxious and insecure.

2. Parents who were Domineering and Critical, frequently accusing the child of misdeeds.

Hypochondriac:

A. Characterized By:

1. Excessive Pre-Occupation With One's Own Health with no accompanying organic basis for their complaints.

2. Spend much time reading medical journals, health magazines and newspaper articles on disease.

3. Quick to ascribe to themselves physical illnesses ranging from cancer to heart ailments.

B. Caused By:

1. Early in life an Unwanted or Insecure child learns that physical illness usually brings him sympathy and attention.

2. When parents exhibit Extreme Concern over every slight physical ailment, children soon learn that illness can be advantageous.

3. Feelings of Failure and Disappointment can cause a person to seek for an Excuse to justify his failures.

4. Some people manifest hypochondriac symptoms in order to Control Others or get their own way.

Neurotic:

A. Characterized By:

1. Unfounded Dread, Worry, and Apprehension.

2. Continually concerned about the Future.

3. Upset over Little Errors he has made.

4. Worries about problems which he feels are Sure to befall him in the Future.

5. Thinks that all he does results is failure.

6. Feels Inadequate and Unworthy of the love and respect of others.

7. Fearful of new situations and Insecure in social relationships.

B. Caused By:

1. An insecure childhood --- Constantly Striving For Commendation From Parents.

2. Parental rejection --- failure to spend Time with the child --- failed to give him Needed Attention and Love.

3. Overly critical parents --- instead of Encouraging the child and Complimenting him for his efforts, they Scold and Criticize because he failed to do better.

Inferiority:

A. Characterized By:

1. Attention getting behavior.

2. Self-Consciousness --- easily embarrassed and upset.

3. Over-Sensitiveness --- cannot stand criticism or comparison with others.

4. Enviousness --- jealous of the personal qualities or possessions of others.

5. Perfectionism.

6. Domination.

7. Seclusiveness --- does not like to engage in social activities.

8. Criticism --- habitually criticize others in an effort to create and maintain a more adequate self-image.

B. Caused By:

1. Rejection --- child feels that he is Unwanted and Unloved.

2. Punishment --- Two Frequently and Too Severely.

3. Teasing --- nicknames, etc.

4. Negative Correction --- Humiliate a child by severe Scolding and Ridicule --- especially in the Presence of Others.

5. Unfavorable Comparison.

6. Oversoliciture --- refusal of parents to let a child made his own Decisions and learn to assume Responsibilities.

7. Perfectionism --- requiring especially high and Unrealistic Standards.

Insecurity:

A. Characterized By:

1. Lack of self-confidence.

2. Feels inadequate, unwanted, and unloved.

3. Susceptible to constant worry and apprehensions.

B. Caused By:

1. Parental Rejection and Lack of Love.

2. Domineering Parents --- Inconsiderate of The Child's Feelings.

3. Perfectionistic and Overly Critical parents --- child is Seldom Praised and Complimented, Overly Corrected and Criticized.

4. Cruel and Harsh discipline.

5. Negative Correction --- verbal lashings which Humiliate and Belittle him --- calling him "stupid" or "ignorant" --- threatening him with frightening experiences.

6. Overindulgent Parents --- does everything for the child --- "no, you had better let mommy do that for you."

7. Unfavorable Comparisons with others.

8. Parental Inconsistency.

Paranoid --- Hypochondriac --- Neurotic --- Inferiority --- Insecurity

The Above Conditions Are Usually The Results of A Person Not Being Able To Accept Themselves In A Positive Way.

Self-Rejection Can Lead To
Self-Centeredness

I. What Are The Results of Self-Rejection?

A. An Inability To Trust God.

1. Many people want to trust God, they try to trust, but they just Can't Stir Up Enough Faith.

2. This inability to trust God can very often be traced to a Deep Rejection of Self.

( They may reason thusly, "God is credited with creating everything, including me. He is also credited with being all wise and infinitely loving. If what I see in the mirror and in my life is an example of His creativity and His love, then I am not interested. I'd better hang on to what's left and try to make the best of it!" )

3. This response Ignores What God Is Trying To Accomplish In And Through Our Lives.

B. A Resistance Against Authority.

1. When we reject ourselves, we begin to feel "Cheated In Life."

2. Consciously or unconsciously we develop the attitudes:

a. God Owes Us something.

b. The World Owes Us something.

3. This negative self image and resistance against authority can very easily produce a "Floating Bitterness" which can be attached to any authority:

a. Parents,

b. Civil authorities,

c. Employers, etc.

d. Church --- Pastor --- God's Word .....

4. A negative self image can very easily cause us to Resent Authority.

C. A Hindrance To Genuine Friendship.

1. A rejection of self Hinders Our Response To Others and their response to us.

2. When we are Self-Centered and Oversensitive to the response of others to us, then we are Unable To Concentrate On Their Real Needs.

3. This concentration on the basic spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical needs of others is the Basis For Building Genuine Friendships.

4. Instead of helping others, many times the Negative Feelings We Have Toward Ourselves Are Projected To Others.

5. Example --- We engage in Self Criticism in the Hopes that those around us will Disagree And Thus Build Up Our Self-Image.

6. When others Sense That We Do Not Accept Ourselves, either through our self criticism or through a show of superiority and sophistication, They, Too, Will Find It Difficult To Accept Us.

D. A Diverting of Attention From True Achievement.

1. We try to compensate for "Our Deficiencies" by trying to achieve goals which will bring Acceptance and Approval from others.

2. This desire for the approval of men Will Divert Our Attention From The Purpose God Has For Our Life.

3. True achievement involves the development of inward qualities which are Consistent With God's Character.

1 Samuel 16:7, "But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart."

4. As true achievement is being developed, it will Reflect Itself Outwardly.

Prov. 15:13, "A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken."

E. An Overemphasis On Materialism.

1. A very normal Attempt To Cover Up or Detract attention from a rejection of self is an Overemphasis on Clothes or other Material possessions.

2. Extreme attention will often be given to finding "just the right clothes," only to realize that these do Not Really Bring More Self Acceptance and, therefore, the search goes on.

3. The constantly changing fads and fashions in our society are vivid illustrations of this inner struggle.

F. All of these things are the Results of A Person Not Having A Very High Opinion of Himself or of having a negative self-image.

II. What Are The Basic Steps From Self-Rejection To Achieving An Acceptance of Self?

A. Begin A New Relationship With Your Designer.

1. God Designed You Before You Were Born.

Psalm 139:16, "Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them."

Isaiah 45:9-10, "Woe unto him that striveth with his Maker! Let the potsherd strive with the potsherds of the earth. Shall the clay say to him that fashioneth it, What makest thou? or thy work, He hath no hands? 10 Woe unto him that saith unto his father, What begettest thou? or to the woman, What hast thou brought forth?"

Rom. 9:20-21, "Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus? 21 Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?"

2. We must have a clear Understanding and Acceptance of the Purpose God Has for our:

a. Appearance,

b. Abilities,

c. Parentage,

d. Environment.

3. We must enter into an Intimate and Personal Relationship with our designer.

4. God Is Not Finished making us, and Only He Knows how to finish the job the right way.

Eph. 2:10, "For we are (present, continuous action) his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."

Psalm 138:8, "The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands."

1 Cor. 15:10, "But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me."

Phil. 1:6, "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:"

B. Thank God For His Workmanship Thus Far.

1. Look at ourselves through God's Point of View.

2. God desires to Reveal Himself Through those who will allow Him to do so.

3. The "Canvas" of our lives, however, is covered with evidences of stubborn and Amateurish Efforts to express ourselves rather than Allow God to Express Himself.

4. We must Recognize The Facts that:

a. God is not finished creating us yet.

b. His reputation is at stake in the "finished product."

5. We must Thank God For How He has made us thus far.

6. We must have Confidence and Expectation for what He will do in the future.

7. It is especially important for us to Express Gratefulness for those unchangeable "Deficiencies" or "Deformities" for which We Have Had Resentment In The Past.

a. It is Not Enough to thank God that we are Not Worse than we are.

b. This is not really accepting ourselves.

8. We must see, as God does, Value in what He has already done.

C. Identifying The Root Problem.

1. An unconscious Bitterness Toward God for making us the way He did.

a. Appearance,

b. Abilities,

c. Parentage,

d. Environment.

2. Hebrews 12:15, "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;"

3. Eph. 5:29, "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:"

4. Failure to comprehend God's Values and Purposes for the way He has made us --- thus becoming Bitter Against God.

D. Remove The Root Cause.

1. Recognize that God described exactly how you would look Before You Were Born.

Psalm 139:14-16, "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. 15 My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. 16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them."

2. Realize that God Formed You to Emphasize and Enhance the Inward Qualities which God wants to Develop In You.

1 Peter 3:3-4, "Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible,"

2 Cor. 12:9, "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

Matt.5:16, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."

3. Discern the fact that God Is Not Finished making you yet.

Eph. 2:10, "For we are his workmanship, ..."

4. Understand that God's Reputation Is At Stake in the "finished product."

Psa.23:3, "... for his nameís sake. ..."

5. Accept the fact that Inferiority Comes By Wrong Comparisons.

2 Cor. 10:12, "For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise."

6. Acknowledge your Bitterness Toward God for making you the way He did.

Eph. 5:29, "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:"

7. Admit your Independent Spirit which caused you to think that God should have consulted you before He made you the way He did.

Rom. 9:20-21, "Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus? 21 Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?"

8. Thank God for the way He made you especially for any "Deficiencies" or "Deformities".

9. Put yourself back In God's Hands and Purpose to Co-operate in developing inward qualities.

E. Reproduce "Christ Character" In The Lives of Others.

1. The Principles of Life and Happiness are Opposite to Our Natural Inclinations.

2. The More We Learn To Be A Servant, The More Successful We Will Be In Life.

3. Are you Reproducing Christ Character in the life of Others?

2 Cor. 3:2, "Ye are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read of all men:"

2 Cor. 5:18-21, "And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. 20 Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christís stead, be ye reconciled to God. 21 For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him."

Conclusion:

A. How Do I Live A Happy, Victorious, Secure Life?

Realize That:

1. God Made You the way He did and that He Had A Purpose in doing so.

2. God Is Not Finished with you yet --- Trust God to know what He is doing in your life.

3. Admit Your Bitterness toward God for making you the way He did and ask Him to Forgive you.

4. Thank God for the way He made you and Co-operate With God in becoming what He Wants you to be.

5. Reproduce "Christ's Character" In The Lives of Others.

B. Then You Will Be Able To Say With Paul:

Gal. 2:20, "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me."

Rom. 8:31-32, "What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? 32 He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?




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